THE CRAZY ONES – Season 1 Episode 9 – SPOILERS
SIMON: “Softball is a game for young lesbians, and I am neither anymore.”
The story centers on a game of 16 inch softball between the creatives and the accounting department. What the show is really discussing is performance enhancing drugs in sport. Making the softball bigger makes the game easier just like steroids make hitting easier.
It seems that eleven years ago (in the time of Sosa, Bonds, McGwire, et al.) Simon hit five home runs in one game and led his team to victory. It turns out he was high at the time, and is totally unable to repeat the performance. (Simon at one point uses the story of the Doc Ellis acid-influenced no-hitter to illustrate his plight to Zach. Bonds and Sosa are never mentioned.) When Simon attempts to bat, he strains something and is given a muscle relaxant. This is not the right kind of drug and he ends up fantasizing about hitting a home run after missing the ball entirely. Despite all this, everyone, including Gordon (Brad Garrett),
the accounting team’s captain, buys into his artificial legendary status.
Nancy Cardigan (Brooke Lyons) shows up and Sydney tries very hard to make friends with her, much to Andrew’s discomfort. Syd buys Nancy a couples massage certificate, which Nancy uses, acquiring a fungal infection. Then Nancy, who is vegetarian, invites Syd to dinner.
NANCY: “Maybe we could grab something to eat”
SYD: “I’d love that. You know I eat anything: ice cream, bacon double cheesburgers, greasy donuts” [turning to Andrew] “Did you hear me say that?”
ANDREW: “You mean your slow descent into type 2 diabetes? Yes.”
Finally, in a fine display of zen marksmanship, Sydney hits a foul ball directly into Cardigan’s right eye. Her expression as she watches the ball hit Nancy is the BEST GELLAR MOMENT of the episode.
HISTORICAL NOTE: Sarah Michelle Gellar might be a vegetarian, although there is no direct evidence. However, after the botched March, 2003 cover of 17 Magazine. the magazine sent her an expensive leather purse along with an apology. Gellar returned the purse, explaining that she did not wear leather.
- Rice Krispies get a free plug as Andrew and Zach contemplate a Snap, Crackle, and Pop update, possibly including a fourth, female cereal sound (‘fizz’ is suggested by the illustration) because, well, “three bachelors living together in a cereal bowl? People talk.”
- After her bad breakup with Charlie, Lauren is into dudes again, because “women are too much trouble.”
- Nancy’s last name is actually Morris.
Two of Simon’s unnamed teammates are played by Lacey Mael (blonde with short hair) and Adeana Lane (blonde with long hair). Mael was a vampire dancer in the short film Barackula, The Musical which was released during the Presidential campaign of 2008. Lane will be Lisa in the slasher (sledgehammer) flick MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, due out in 2014.
Brooke Lyons (Nancy) will be Elisa in PSYCH, THE MUSICAL which will air 15 December on the USA Network. She also has the recurring role of Peach on 2 BROKE GIRLS.